Oh noooo... I'm FAT!

I'm seriously concerned... I rolled out of bed this morning and looked in the mirror.

My face looked all puffy!

Hmmm... It could have been too much sleep but I laughed it off... No such thing! But then I looked at Mom Person's magazine on the coffee table. It's called Time Flies or something like that. It had Cindy Crawford  on it. She is 48, so that's older than me, and she is very slim and her legs are sooooo long. I think she might be a Whippet, like my friend Minnie!

And then it hit me... did I put on lots of weight during that wet season? I mean I was still playing with my ball but maybe a little bit less than usual? And ok, I had a little bit of ham every now and then but that surely wouldn't make me fat, right?

 Owww nowwww...Is that why Mom Person calls me chubby bum?

I was really worried. I'm going away soon to spend some time with my boyfriend Magic, while Mom and Dad people go on their Hameymoon and I need to look my best!

I decided to try yoga. Mom person did it yesterday (she claimed she couldn't concentrate on it because I kept licking her leg. Whaaat? She looked a little bit dehydrated, I was just encouraging her to continue!).

It did go well!

 What shall we have for lunch?

What do you mean we can't talk during yoga?

  Seriously, that Parma Ham was sooo big!

 

 Namaste! Are we finished? I'm so peckish!

 

 

We had a nice snack afterwards and I think I will be doing some more of that doggie yoga tomorrow! So much easier than running!

 

xxx

Olivia

 



I'm back!

 

 

 Hello again!

I promised to tell you about my last couple of weeks but I decided to sum it up for you in photos...

So here we go:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

 

SEE? I couldn't take it anymore...

 

 

 But in all that doom, gloom and a puddle there's been one success story!

 

 

  Taa daaa!

 

 I've slept a lot and got washed far too much but now I'm ready to play the ball and eat some ham!

 

 

 

 

 

 

xxxx

 

Olivia

 

 

 

 

This world is coming to an end! Penguins get depressed.

I know, I know I've been quiet for so long you don't even remember what I look like!

That's me:

 Hiyyyaaaa!

 

 

Where was I? Oh, I know... so the weather we have had in England was so depressing that even penguins were getting depressed! You don't believe me? Look!

http://news.uk.msn.com/penguins-are-depressed-about-the-weather-so-we-gave-them-anti-depressants

How can a Sealyham stay sane in this weather?

I've spent most of my days packing my suitcase for Australia because they have sun, sea and you know, koalas. Everyone wants to cuddle a koala!

 That's a koala... He's just heard I'm coming over. Koalas don't get excited easily.

 

 

I'm back and ready to tell you all about my last couple of weeks, the scary man who made me stop sleeping on Mom and Dad's bed and my favourite People Person's visit!

 

love,

 

Olivia!

 

 

I'm in trouble again! Peegate

Mom person was left speechless last night. They bought this new cream rug which I've been making myself comfortable on over the last couple of days. Yesterday we were going to sit on the sofa after celebrating my 1000 likes on Facebook and Mom person said: what on earth is that? She then started smelling the rug.
O.oo I know that tone of voice and it meant trouble so I chose to pretend I was really interested in the old episode of Suits  ( I've seen it already . It's the one, in which Mike needs to break up with Rachel although he doesn't want to).
But Mom person called my name straight away! She was pointing to something on the rug and saying: boo boo, do you know what that is? What happened???
I wanted to tell her that of course I knew what this was and that it was a pee patch but looking at her face I knew that it would have been a bad move.  So instead I looked at the patch.  DAMN, IT WAS VISIBLE!
I decided to hide.  I run to the bedroom and hid behind the bed.
The thing is... I'm a big girl and I never pee at home.

Mom and dad person removed the rug and left it in the spare bathroom and I'm not allowed in there.  They are going to have it cleaned this weekend.
And  whatever happened with the Peegate stays between me and the rug :-)

My New Year Resolutions!

I'm so excited about 2014!!!

I think it will be great and full of ham!

 

 So far, I've had couple of disasters.

 

For example, yesterday morning, all of a sudden, my foam ball exploded!

 

 

 oh nooo...What's happened here? It just exploded... yes, that's exactly what's happened. Boom!!! *spits out some foam and hides evidence*

 

And I got told off for eating Mom Person's panettone because apparently it's got some raisins in it and it's bad for me! Pfft. It tasted good and I liked it. No regrets.

 

I was watching Mom Person's favourite film, Bridget Jones, and dozing off ( the main character doesn't seem to eat a lot, only drinks, so I lost interest) when something caught my attention: new year's resolutions!

 

 

That looked interesting! As I already have an awesome boyfriend, Magic, I don't need to waste my time on that but I thought that it would be good to have some goals for this year!

 

I was so excited I couldn't sleep! Mom and Dad people told me off as I kept walking all over them while they were trying to sleep. I was just too excited to sleep! It's called AMBITION, people!

So this morning I got up nice and early and drove Dad Person to the station with Mom Person and had a walk, breakfast, snack, belly rub and then I was ready to work!

 

So far I think it looks pretty impressive!

 

OLIVIA'S NEW YEAR RESOLUTION LIST:

 

1. Find a way to buy Bantham. Maybe I should write to Simon Cowell or maybe President Obama and ask for their help?

2. Eat less ham snacks food. Eat more peas and carrots.

3. Stop chasing Only chase squirrels when in the park.

4. Stop stealing People's food Eat only food I can reach without climbing on barstools.

5. Find a way to waterproof myself so I don't have to get washed. I saw some shoe sprays in Boots. Maybe I will try that?

6. Destroy brushes. Hide evidence. Convince Mom Person that brushing is evil.

7. Torture Mom Person and find out what she has done with my balls. Find out what happened to ALL MY TENNIS BALLS after my visit to the vet and why are we now only having those stupid exploding foam ones.

8. Design a stool I can push around to get to the fridge, freezer and locked door. I will also need an opposable thumb.

9. Sleep more. It's important, I should have had it as point no 2.

10. Loose weight.. hehe just kidding. I'm perfect.

 

 

so hi 5 to my new favourite,full oh ham, year and my New Year Resolutions! :-P

 

This is an open list so I might add more later. Do you think I've missed something?

 

Love,

 

Olivia